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Men Who Stand (Part 1) “Vanishing Masculinity”

Allow me to share his opening lines in what he titled way back then, “Vanishing Masculinity” (you notice I stole his title… thanks Chuck):

"Remember when men were men? Remember when you could tell by looking? Remember when men knew who they were, liked how they were, and didn’t want to be anything but what they were? Remember when it was the men who boxed and wrestled and bragged about how much they could bench press? Remember when it was the women who wore the makeup, the earrings, and the bikinis? Remember when it was the men who initiated the contact and took the lead in a relationship, made lifelong commitments, treated a woman like a lady, and modeled a masculinity that dripped with security and stability?

My concern is over a vanishing masculinity that once was in abundance. I mean honest-to-goodness men who are distinctly just that – discerning, decisive, strong-hearted men who know where they are going and are confident enough in themselves (and their God) to get there. They aren’t afraid to take the lead, to stand tall, firm in their principles, even when the going gets tough."

Does any of that ring a bell? Or am I the only guy who (twenty-five years later after those words were written) thinks that sounds sort of like 2015? Correction. How about exactly like 2015. But you know what the difference is? Today, it’s no longer a surprise. It’s the status quo. In fact, most men are thinking right now, “Jon, that’s just the way it is… so get use to it.”

I can’t. My dad couldn’t. My grandpa couldn’t either. Both of them fought in world wars. Both of them received The Purple Heart (meaning they spilled their blood). Both of them made assault landings (my dad made six!) where they saw their best friends, real men, die in their arms. My dad use to say war does not shape masculinity, it only reveals it.

And so it is today. You see, what we seem to forget is that we too are in a war. But it’s not the kind my dad fought in. It’s far more insidious. And to make it worse, it’s invisible. You can’t really see it. You only see the results. Just look around. For once, don’t look at the women. Just look at the men. Be honest. What do you see? I thought so.

So here’s my question. How do we get back to true masculinity? How do we become what I call, “Men Who Stand?”

It all begins with our definition. Definition of what? Masculinity. In other words, it begins with our perspective, in other words, our minds. The battle for my heart begins in my head. Becoming men who stand begins first and foremost with a change in our thinking. Our thinking about us as men.

I know what you’re saying to yourself right now. “Krug, where are you going with this because it’s not real popular? What’s this all about?”

First, allow me to share with you what it’s not about. It’s not about clothes, jewelry, tattoos, or even lifestyle. It’s not about who rides a Harley. It’s not about sexual preference. And believe it or not, it’s not about race or religion. It never has been.

Hold on. You ready? It’s about one thing. My heart.

You heard that correctly. What we are seeing today more than ever before is a war for men’s hearts. And the enemy is not a particular group distinguished by their lifestyle choice. Nor is the enemy a particular color or creed. Our attack is not from them. Not some group or gang. At times, even with beheadings on TV, it may look like it, but it’s not. So where is the attack coming from?

The attack is from a real person with a real name and a real objective. And the last thing he wants us to know is that he is behind what we see today and his time is running out. His time for what? To do whatever it takes to keep us from being “Men Who Stand.”

Allow me to go ahead and just “call him out”, okay? Better yet, why don’t we go back to the very first person (a real man) who originally called him out. His name is Jesus. He called this enemy a “thief.” Jesus said this person’s key objective is singular with three parts: “…to steal, and kill, and destroy.” Notice the progression. It builds. And it ends with total destruction. Not just for now, but for all of eternity. Jesus tells us this person is “the devil”, also named, “Satan” (Revelation 12:9).

Please listen. I want to make this very clear. The attack is real. The enemy is real. The war is real. The end goal is to wipe men out. Real men. With real hearts. And it all begins with how we think about ourselves. Remember, I said it begins with our definition of masculinity? Actually, I should have said, His definition. Here it is in two simple verses from the New Testament. It’s the divine definition of masculinity. It's really very simple to understand:

Be on the alert,

stand firm in the faith,

act like men,

be strong.

Let all that you do

be done in love.

(I Cor.16: 13,14)

Notice how the Apostle Paul says it. He gives four key qualities that define true masculinity. But he does it by stating two qualities, then placing his main point right in the middle, and then stating two more qualities. If you are not careful when reading these two verses, you miss his main point. Which is? How to act like men. You know, not talking the talk, but walking the walk. He’s defining and describing the real deal.

Allow me to dissect it phrase by phrase and list what true masculinity really looks like in the flesh:

1. “Be on the alert”: Masculinity means a man is discerning, not gullible.

2. “stand firm in the faith”: Masculinity means a man is determined in the faith (Christianity), not dabbling in the faith.

3. “be strong”: Masculinity means a man is decisive, not tentative and wimpy.

4. “be done in love.” Masculinity means a man is devoted to giving his life, not saving his life.

There it is. A four-fold definition of true masculinity. Now all we have to do is let it invade our thinking and infect our living. But get ready, the battle is already raging and the models available are a dime a dozen.

Just ask any seven-year-old. Like one uncle did. Many years ago, People magazine published a dialogue between a psychologist and his seven-year-old nephew. The mental health professional asked the young boy, “Is Michael Jackson a boy or a girl?” The boy thought for a moment, paused, and then replied, “Both.”

See what I mean. That’s exactly why I suggest you write these four qualities down. Today. Right now. Somewhere you will see them every morning. Why? Because they are becoming extinct. You know, as in extremely rare.

But more important than that, a little boy might just ask you someday, “Daddy, what’s it mean to be a man?” And remember, when it comes to fathering sons, far more is caught than taught.