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Why Porn & Secret Sex Grab a Man so Tight - Part 5

The two most important days in a man’s life are the day he was born, and the day he discovers why he was born.

Did you notice the word I put in bold? You know why I did that? Because it’s meant to be bold. It is without a doubt the ‘boldest’ word and question that every man needs to have answered. Once I get the answer to that question from the second most important day in my life, I’m done. I can stop searching, performing, squirming. And, oh yes. Best of all, I can stop hiding! I don’t mean hiding from where I've been, what I've done, or who I've been with. I mean I can stop hiding from me. I can stop hiding from who I truly am and what I was meant to be. And here’s the absolutely best part. When I stop hiding, I come home (would you like to know more about how you've been hiding? Grab a copy of Men in Hiding asap).

Wouldn't you really like to know the answer to that one, single question? Why were you born? (And I don’t mean what you do for a living. I mean what you do for a life.) But wait a minute. Maybe you are reading these words right now and thinking, “Home to what? Home to who? I’m sitting here in my own house right now and I’m already home!” No you are not. Your house is not your ‘home.’ No matter how much it cost. No matter how many toys you have downstairs or in the garage (all three of them!) that you have accumulated for years. No matter how much you have spent to make it your perfect retirement spot (you can tell I’ve heard all these responses before, can’t you? Yes – like yesterday).

So here it is. Here’s the answer to that question. I did not come up with it. It’s not my answer. It’s not new. It didn’t come from one of my profs in college or grad school or out of some “Couples Therapy” book. It was spoken by another ‘counselor’ two thousand years ago. And it’s never been ‘deleted’. It goes like this:

“I came to give you life, and that more abundantly.”

The therapist’s name was Jesus. At the time he said these words, he wasn’t very popular with the therapeutic authorities of his day. He still isn’t. But that doesn’t really matter, as long as what he said is true. Right?

I've just told you what he said. But here’s what he meant. He meant that he offers to anyone, anywhere, anytime this thing we call “life.” A life that is full, rich and meaningful. In other words, intimacy. But notice, it’s an intimacy available through a personal relationship with him. Not through a program. Not through a set of 12 steps. And not some religious list of rules and regulations that I have to keep every day. And the best part is it’s free. Free for the taking. You mean I don’t have to pay for it? Nope. He did. On a ugly cross on a nasty hill two centuries ago. And there, it was finished. Done. So now, I can be done. Done with what grabs every man so tight.

Next week is my birthday. You know, the day I was born. That first of those two most important days in a man’s life. But thirteen years later there came my second most important day. The day I found the answer to The Question: Why? The answer is that I was born for one thing: Intimacy with the God who made me and calls me every day to a personal ‘love affair’ with himself. Why is that so important? Because it means I don’t have to spend my whole life having all kinds of other affairs. Like affairs with my money, my stuff, my education, my job. Or an affair with porn and secret sex. I can spend my life having just one affair. An affair with Him. 

And that affair means that I don’t have to ever be addicted anymore except to one thing. It will be enough for the rest of my life to just be addicted to Him.   

How would you like to begin that new addiction right now? Right where you are sitting, at this very moment, you can switch addictions. You can replace the false intimacy that comes through porn and secret sex with the true intimacy that comes only through a personal relationship with the God who made you and wants you for Himself. 

You already know the day you were born. Today is the day you discover why you were born. 

At the very end of Men in Hiding, I've written something just for you. It's an "Invitation."  If you've read the book, you may recall that I begin with an invitation. That first one is mine to you. This last one can be yours to Him.  

Pray these words right now where you sit: 

Jesus, if you are there...if you even exist... if you can hear me... I want YOU. 

I want to know you intimately, Lord. Come rescue me at this very moment. Come save me.

I want to feel your arms around me, your breath on my neck, and your whisper in my ear.  

Right now, I want to begin a new life of intimacy with you. 

I don't know where to go from here. 

I'm lost in my sin. I'm sick of hiding and pretending.

I confess right now in my heart that you died for me on a cross. 

I believe in faith that you paid the penalty for all my sin.

I believe you are who you say you are. 

I invite you, Jesus, at this very moment, to come into my life.

I want to come back to you and live for you.

I want to come home.  

Amen.